16-35

shelled out 2.5k for the 16-35 lens. Wonder if I can really do something with it..... How to take the photos? dishearten with everyshots taken .... something is missing.......

Ponders ... what is next...

Rejected a chance to return to the elite leagues of the big players when I called off the interview with BackOffice Associate. Not sure if I would leave to regret next time. This could be the last boat. I am afraid recently of changes .... afraid of every steps forward, no longer having that confidence when I left STEE for Accenture. Had a Promotion to the position of Consulting Manager in Feb. Sort of a sign, maybe I should stay.... always wanted the promotion but when it comes, it comes with a lot of doubts. An I right to reject the opportunity with BackOffice for ICMS? Promotion should come with a prize, things become more brutal as we ascend to the top. Taste of Steel and the ugliness of people becomes more clear as you climb the corporate ladder. The big question remains, what should I look forward to? Honestly, this year seem to be Freya's birthday I am looking forward for. She is such a gem and her smiles melts heart. Just hope she will stay healthy and have a good life. What do we work for? Why some idiots can give half-fuck work and still survive and still make a living. Should I drop a gear and just work enough to make a living? Drop a Gear.... Why work so hard? work hard only seem to invite more work ......... What should I look forward for this year?

2011 Reflections

Today is the last day of 2011. It had been a tired and wonderful year for me.

The single more important event was the birth of Freya. Miss Cranky was born on the 29th of July. Her arrival has certainly bought joy to the family.

The another event which collided with her arrival was the roll out of the project ROMS on the 1st of Aug (My Birthday too)

August was a nightmare month for me. There was alot of issue with the project yet it was the first month of Freya arrival. This year also saw a shift in prespective of the mind if might as well just to earn a living ... no need to work so hard ....

Oct end there was another roll out for ROMS which saw the late nights again.

Getting tired of late nights and wife complaints on my work. Is it a choice???

Up the Tiger and difficult to get down.

My project is on going and likely to be a long drawn battle. I know I can get a better life else where. I know that I am unhappy with my job now. The question is how to get out of it.

I never wanted to get out of the bed each day and sit there wondering if I should call it quit and move on. There are stress on the job and the long hours which I could do without. Being unappreciated is my greatest enemy. Sometimes wonder if the long working hours, the hard work and the effort put in, what will I get in return. Is it worth it?

I know my wife is trying to get off hers as well. She will have a difficult time looking for a job. I was jobless before and she supported me. I should return the favor now. I should support her till she finds her new job. I have to stay .... this is my responsibility towards her.

I could find a job and move on yet I fear about the project, I fear about my responsibility towards the team. But do these responsibility worth it? why should I care if I am not appreciated.

Hated the dilemma in life.

Choices

looks backs the last ten years. There are alot of major milestones in life. Went study, countless games of DOTA and LAN outings, started working, got married, went study again, started working again. The last ten years was a busy one. Then you start to look at the bad decisions made, how it could have been better. The truth is the ten year is over and will never come back.

What to expect in the next 10 years?

It could be easier if 1 day, I can see open a bit and what my wife told me, choose to be happy and not to be sad. choose not to worry. my reply is always, sometimes it is not a choice, but someone has to do the worrying so that someone else can choose not to worry.

A blinking light

Saw a blinking light on the monitor. You suddenly realized that it is alive.

Full of hope - hope to see you next year. hope we can be the best of friends. hope that you will carry on a life which I would have dream how I would live mine. - a happy one.

Full of worries - worried if you will be fine, worried if I cannot live up to your expectation. Worried if I cannot take care of you.

Yet it is alive and coming ... regardless what happen.

I hope to see your face next year.

Greatest Satisfaction of My Job

I remember my interview with Linda Poh of Accenture 2 years ago. She asked me 1 question which still rings in my mind. What is your motivation and satisfaction in work? I didnt really answer that question very well, but she answered for her version of the answer. She said her satisfaction was that she build system that make a difference to many people .

Recently My wife and I went Immigration Authority to get the new passport. There was this queue system there and my wife was wowed by it and said that the system of getting the passport was impressive.

The reason I brought up these 2 incidents was that I went for an interview this morning with one of the top 4 consulting firm in the world... It was a position to do risk management for banks. Comparing to my current job in an EGovt firm, the position would generally pay more in the long run and maybe higher prospect if I can stay long enough. But then ... the is no little joy working for this banking giant who make millions of dollars per day... as compared to working for a system take may make a difference to the everyday people in the street..... i generally hate banks for their high handed way and the imbalance of paying 0.001 % interest for my deposit and charge me 5% per month for my loan.

I hope to make a diff to the very day people and one day my wife could use a system which I build and be impress by it. That will be the greatest satisfaction of my job.

New Project = Stay?

On 2 minds on this.

I have recently moved out of the old project at WDA and given a chance to run a project from ground zero which is exciting and a very rare chance ... usually when you take on a job .. it is usually to clear shit ....

Anyway this project has given me a chance to run a project and put to use the stuff learnt in school and along the years of SI. But on the other hand .. it is still paying me below expectations given I got my Master.

Went for interview with PWC and going for Deloitte & Touche. These are all big firms and firms I listed in my new year resolution. The interview at PWC didnt go too well, the partner cuts my credit into half and only will offers a associate role with 2 years credit. Guess it would be the same for Deloitte as well. I keep asking myself if I am suitable for a consulting role as such. Then the next question will be, can i still go to a freshman level and right it out, forsaking whatever I have learnt in the past 4 years?

PWC/Deloitte - Good prospects, pay should be higher in the long run. The name is good. But it is a totally different field which I need to learn from scratch. Ground Zero. I have totally no control of time. I dunno what my boss want or expect or what the job is really about.

Ecquaria - Unknown name, petty with pay. But I know what is happening in my job and can better manage my time. I have a chance to run a project track which is cool. The people there are ok.

Looking ahead for 5 years
PWC/Deloitte - Senior Associate / Consultant /Project Lead - 5k - 70k per year
Ecquaria - Project Manager / Consulting Manager - 4k plus ?? (I wonder how much mike earn.) 60k per year

Looking ahead for 10 years
PWC/deloitte - Project Manager - 10k - 150k per year
Ecquaria - Senior Project Manager - 6k? 80k per year


The projection at PWC/Deloitte is if I can tong that long for 10 years.

If I were to factor in the partime lecturing
Ecquaria - Project Manager / Consulting Manager - 4k plus ?? (I wonder how much mike earn.) 60k per year + 400 per month X 12 = 5 k more?
Ecquaria - Senior Project Manager - 6k? 80k per year + 800 per month X 12 = 10 k more?

2010 Resolutions

ok allowed me to define for myself the different categories

Hope - unmeasurable/measurable milestones - usually achievable and of less risk
Want - not milestones but personal want which can be fulfill easily with money
Target - Higher and non-achievable milestones - more difficult to get

my HOPE,WANT and TARGET for 2010 - I feel some of them are very tall orders for me which will not be easy.

Hope -
1) Hope to land a new job before May 2010.
2) Successfully leave Ecquaria in a good name.
3) Increase Pay to 4k with AWS
4) Start an exercise habit.
5) Leave Technical role for management based roles.


Want
1) PES 2010 - I got the platform, now is to buy the game
2) Transition Lens - carried forward from last year.
3) Pay back the loans from my wife

Target
1) Hope to land the next job in one of the following firms and a career which I will be proud of and made used of the MCOMP.
a) Big4 - KPMG. Deloitte, PWC, EY
b) Big4 Tech - IBM GBS
c) Tech - Steria, IBM, ORACLE
d) SAP - SAP, Ecenta
e) Other Leaders - HP, DELL
2) Annual Income back to 60k projected for 2011
3) PMP before 2010.

2010 New Year Blog

Today is day 2 of 2010. Allowed me to review my 2009 resolutions and goals.

Total Hope Success - 1.5 out of 3
Total Want Success - 3.5 out of 5
Total Target Success - 1 out 3

I must say the result isnt good.... haiz .. let move on to make the resolutions for 2010.



(2009)
Hope:
1) I hope to be selected for the TA job. I hope to be able to secure at least 10 hours of tutorial lessons for TA. This will cover about 400 dollars a week which will be able to keep me going during the term. (FAILED)

2) I hope to secure a good job come this may. There are many definition of good jobs as i come to know. I want a good boss, a position where i can put what i know to use and i can perform there. as for the pay, don't need to be high, but must be doable and not too bad. I need the pay not because i spend alot but rather for the pride sake. To me it is a measure of my career. (I have no doubt that YH and CH are good bosses, but then again the job position and role will have little prospect.) (Mixed)

3) I hope to finish my master in 1 piece without any problem and just grad and forget about it. Hope my selection of modules will fulfill all the requirement for the degree. (NO DOUBT ABOUT THIS!)(SUCCESS)

Want:
1) A Car; there is talk of getting a car in Aug. Likely to be a weekender which we will convert when we have a child. It may be a full car if my new job ask for it. we will see how it goes along. now the talk is on a weekender.
a) I would love a beetle, but she feel it is too small and impractical and exp
b) We can agree on a Jazz but looking at other models
c) I dun mind saving on some money by getting a picanto or a daihatsu
d) some other fringe models includes 107 and 207 and maybe the mazdas or the nissan
(We got an Avante instead. No problem so far... but maybe should have tried the Forte. Avante looked more for uncle.) (Mixed)

2) I need a new notebook. The old notebook is about 5 years liao. Time to change. I will get one which enable me to play winning eleven 2009!!!! and maybe host my server for J2EE development (SUCCESS) (no doubt about this - 2.2k spent)

3) I want to play Winning Eleven 2009. likely on a PC... so I need a new laptop.

4) if my laptop plans fails... i still want to play winning eleven 2009, then psp is the next option (SUCCESS) I played PES2009

5) I want a new phone. Looking at HTC 3G touch or even Iphone. I want to surf net on the go . (SUCCESS) (HTC Touch 3G)

6) I want a transition-lens glasses. my short stay with the consultant firms say spurs me tha need to look smart and look clever even when .. there is actually not much diff in the consultant... they are quite empty as well. All talk no action. Save the ties and the white shirts man. (FAILED) (no money)

Target:
1) I want to get my level 2 Sun cert. I am working on the SCBCD now. hope to get 2 level 2 before i start job. (SUCCESS) (no doubt about that)

2) I may want to run the standard chart 42km. Shihao say that can take up to 8 hours to run. I did a calucation. I can walk 8km per hour which make up 42km in 6 hours. (FAILED) (I didnt even tried)

3) I want to learn Ajax, Spring before i start job. This is a tall order given I need to tackle the certifications. (FAILED)